I Won't Give Up
by HappyHollyWolly
Summary: "...we are at war with Germany" Since the moment the words left his lips, she knew what she wanted to do. Alice Crawley runs away to play her part in the war. But, how far will she go?


**Summary: **_"...we are at war with Germany" Since the moment the words left his lips, she knew what she wanted to do. Alice Crawley runs away to play her part in the war. But, how far will she go?_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Downton Abbey, whoever does does. The only thing I own is Alice Crawley. **

* * *

_**one**_

It has been months since war was declared on Germany and Alice was growing restless. Ever since the garden party when her father informed the guests of the declaration, Alice had wanted to do one thing. Fight. Alice was even more radical and feminist than Sybil was. Alice would stand up and fight for what she wants a lot quicker than any of her sisters. The events of Tuesday nights dinner were still ringing in her ears as she packed her suitcase;

_"With Thomas called up, it won't be long until William __enlists too," Robert states, while cutting into his dinner "Is his father still not letting him enlist, Carson?"_

_"As far as I know, milord," Carson replied from his stance near the door. _

_"Of course, he won't," Cora spoke up "William is an only child, and after his wife's passing, he's right not to let him go."_

_"But, still, it is keeping a young man from fighting for his king and his country," Robert said to his wife of 25 years. _

_"If they find a shortage of men, then why don't they let women enlist?" Alice asked, without looking up from her meal. Everyone stopped at Alice's statement._

_"My ears must deceive me?" Violet, who had joined the Crawley's for dinner, asked, in her usual sarcastic manner "Women on the front? What's next? Monkey's as butlers?" Carson straightened up slightly and lowly cleared his throat at her words._

_"Maybe, so Granny, because I don't see why a woman can't defend her country, when men can jump at the chance," Alice said, backing up her statement "It's greatly unjust."_

_"And I suppose you think the same, Sybil?" Robert questioned his youngest daughter. Sybil opened her mouth to speak, but the Dowager Countess interrupted her. _

_"It doesn't matter who thinks what," Violet stated proudly "The fact of the matter is, a woman's place is in the home and to bear children, not to parade around armed at the ready. It's unladylike," Alice tried to roll her eyes as she dropped her head, but nothing got past Lady Grantham's vision "And, don't roll your eyes at me, dear."  
_

_"It's unladylike, do I think correctly?" Alice asked. Everyone was shocked at how the young Lady Alice had addressed her aging Grandmother. _

_"Alice, apologize to your Grandmother, at once," Robert demanded his third child. But, Alice was always stubborn, ever since she was a child._

_"I shall do no such thing," Alice said, bitterness in her voice "In her time, maybe, it would have been acceptable for woman to dine guests and bear children every couple of years, but this is the 20th century, and we are at war. I know women are of use in medicine at the moment, but I'm not content with that. I want to be of proper service. I want to fight in this war-"_

_"You shall do no such thing!" Robert said, or rather shouted, fiercely from his place at the dinner table. Alice didn't flinch at her fathers stern words that followed "Do you know what war is? Shells blasting in every direction. Gun fire from dawn 'til dusk. Gas bombs smothering you while you sleep. War is for men to fight, Alice, not women. Times may be changing, but defending ones country shall be left to the men for now. So, stop acting like a child and be a lady, like your title says you are."_

_"That's what you think, father" Alice said, rising from her seat and throwing her napkin down onto the table. Carson moved quickly to have the door open for Alice's departure from the room._

_"Alice Martha Crawley, get back her this instance," Robert demanded, standing at his chair._

_"Thank you, Carson," Alice said as she passed the butler. _

_"That must come from **your **side of the family, Cora," Violet smirked, addressing her daughter-in-law._

Alice hadn't spoke to her father since that dreadful night, all of five days ago. She had spoken with her sisters since, but refused the presence of her father, mother or grandmother. She even went to the extent of dining with the maid one night, but found it extremely awkward, and chose to dine alone at a later time than her family. But, now she's made up her own plan. She would be leaving soon, she even called upon Branson to drive her to Ripon at his late hour, earlier in the day;

_Alice made her way down the stairs to the servants quarters. She hadn't been down she was a little girl. Back then, the whole house seemed like a country to her, at the age of four. She'd run around the house everyday and find a new, undiscovered, to her anyway, room. She especially loved coming down to the kitchens between lunch and dinner, and Mrs. Patmore would give her sandwiches and a glass of milk. The hours she spent trawling every inch of the house always made her hungry. Now the whole place seemed dull, dusty and small, compared to the large, grand and spotless surrounding of the manor. As she entered the servants dining area, Mrs Hughes was the first to notice her presence and stood at once. The rest of the employees present stood also._

_"Lady Alice, are you dining with us tonight again?" Mrs Hughes asked the young lady._

_"I'm afraid not, but I do request the presence of Branson for several moments," Alice asked, looking over towards the charming Irish chauffeur "If it's not too much to ask?"_

_"Of course not, milady," Branson said, nodding his head and making his way around the table "It will be a pleasure?"_

_"Come, we shall walk," Alice suggested, leading the way out. Branson opened the employees exit door for her, so they could go out into the clean country air._

_"And what do you request my presence for, milady?" Branson asked, as they got away from the house and further down the path._

_"I wondered if you were available to drive me into Ripon tonight?" Alice asked him._

_"I most certainly am, milady," Branson asked "What time do you need the car?"_

_"Is 2 in the morning alright?" Alice asked, hesitantly._

_"That's fine, milady" Branson replied "But, can I ask the purpose of your visit to Ripon at such a late hour?"_

_"I have decided to visit Aunt Rosamund in London for some time," Alice said, staring ahead, a trait of her to indicate she was lying, as she could never face the person "With all the discomfort with my papa at the moment, I think it best to leave for a while. I have contacting the inn to stay open until my arrival, and then I shall take the 9 o clock train to London."_

_"Do you have an idea when you want to return?" Branson asked her. In other houses, it would have been strange for the employees to ask such questions to their families, but at Downton, things were different. The Crawley's were very much close to their staff and looked after their well-being as much they could._

_"I am not exactly sure at the moment, Branson," Alice answered, politely "But, if I do decide to return, I shall make sure to be in contact."_

_"Is that all, milady?" Branson asked, stopping._

_"Yes, thank you," Branson gently tipped his head to the young lady and turned to walk back to the house "Oh, and Branson," She called out, he stopped and turned around._

_"Yes, milady?" Branson questioned, standing tall._

_"Please keep this conversation strictly between us for now?" Alice asked of him "If my father find out of my plans to leave Downton without his permission, he might not agree with me and try and stop me from departing."_

_"You have my word, Lady Alice," Branson promised, letting Alice smile slightly._

Alice felt bad for the position she's put Branson in. He doesn't know the truth. He doesn't know that she's going to London, only to go straight to Paris in the hope of managing to forge her way into the British Army in Northern France. There is no other place she wants to be on earth at this very moment. This is 1915, not 1850. In her mind, women should be allow to enter the trenches and defend her countries peace as much as any man should. She left her letter atop the fire place before quietly showing away downstairs, suitcase in hand. She had told Branson later on to meet her in the kitchens once she is ready. He was already waiting for her when she arrived. They had to be extra quite because Mrs. Patmore and Daisy could be wakened if they made too much noise.

"Lady Alice, are you ready to go?" Branson asked. Alice sighed quietly, before throwing a gaze up the stairs again.

"Yes. Yes I am" Alice said, giving him a weak smile. They sneaked out the back door to Downton house once more. This time, the only difference was the temperature "Oh, it is cold."

"That's night for you, milady," Branson said, escorting her by lantern light to the garages and loading her bag into the car "Are you sure now you want to go to London, milady? Because I'm sure his Lordship would like you to stay and sort things out."

"No, I best go. Give it some time" Alice spoke, before stepping up into the car.

"As you wish, milady," Branson said, closing her door and starting the car up. As they drove down the road, away from Downton, Alice looked back over her shoulder at the grand structure, her eyes watering up slightly.

* * *

It only a mere 5 hours later that the maids were up and cleaning the house before the Crawley's awoke. Daisy was the first one to go around the house, lighting the fires to make sure the rooms were warm. She was used to doing it quietly, as to not waken the sleeping nobility of the house. But, when she entered Lady Alice's room, she noticed the bed had been undone, but Lady Alice was nowhere to be seen. She went over to the fireplace and began to clean through it, lighting up a nice fire for the young Lady. In the time it takes her to clean, set and light the fire, Daisy didn't hear a noise from her Lady's bathroom to suggest she was in there. Growing concerned, she quickly packed up her things and made off to the next bedroom, hoping to catch Anna or someone along the way. Luckily she did.

"Oh, Anna, have you seen Lady Alice this morning?" Daisy asked her, trying to hold the buckets in her hands.

"No, I haven't" Anna replied, with the new maid, Ethel, standing behind her "Why do you ask?"

"It's just...she wasn't in her room," Daisy explained "I figured she got up and went to the bathroom, but I didn't hear anything."

"Had her bed been slept in?" Anna questioned.

"Yeah, I think so," Daisy answered.

"She's probably gone to Lady Mary's room," Anna said "She'll turn up some time."

"Okay" Daisy said moving along. It was some time before Anna and Ethel managed to get around to Lady Alice's room. The Crawley's were awake and getting breakfast down in the dining room.

"Get a move on, we have to get the beds tidied before they come back up," Anna said, quickly bustling into Lady Alice's room.

"I know," Ethel said coldly, as Anna went around to the other side of the bed. She stopped suddenly, and looked back to something that had caught her eye atop the fireplace. A letter addressed to '**Papa**'. Anna picked it up quickly and went downstairs to find Carson or Bates to give it to Lord Grantham.

"Ah, Anna, have you seen Lady Alice this morning?" Carson asked, seeing her in the entrance hall "His Lordship requests her presence at breakfast."

"I found this up her room," Anna said handing him the letter. Carson stared down at it soberly "Do you think she's run away?"

"We don't know that yet," Carson said turning and going back into the dining room. He had the feeling in his stomach that what Anna believed was, in fact, true. He stood along side Robert and cleared his throat "Milord, Anna found this in Lady Alice's room." Mary, Edith and Sybil looked between them as the Earl slowly took the letter from his butlers hands. He had a bad feeling about what this letter may contain.

"Thank you, Carson," Robert said, opening the letter. His eyes ran over the lines of his daughters handwriting, before he sighed at the end.

"Well, what does it say?" Mary asked "Where's Alice?" Robert threw the letter down onto the table, standing up from his seat rapidly and left the room. Mary was the first over and began to read what it said.

_**Dear Crawley family members and their staff,**_

_**I am sorry to have to tell you that I have left Downton. My views and beliefs do not match yours, which are strongly conservative. I hoped from the bottom of my heart that I didn't have to do this, but I must. I cannot continue living in a house where my views are constantly put down. I am wildly sorry, and I apologize for my actions over the previous number of days. I have left a number of letters to be delivered with Branson. Please do not blame him or do anything drastic, I have asked him to take me away. **_

_**Yours Truly,**_

_**Lady Alice Crawley.**_

By the time she was finished, the Earl was already down the stairs and in the kitchen. His face was angry, and when he entered the room, everyone stood up quickly.

"Has anyone seen Branson?" Robert queried looking down the long table and not seeing the Irish chauffeur there yet.

"He hasn't returned yet, milord," Mrs Hughes answered "Although, we are expecting him back shortly."

"Thank you, Mrs. Hughes," Robert replied "And when he does, make sure he comes straight to me. I would like a word with him. Tell him, I'll be in the Library."

"Most certainly, milord," She replies before he left the room and the maids, footmen etc all sit down again.

"What do you think that's about?" Mrs. Patmore questions.

"I think it's about Lady Alice not being in her bed this morning," Daisy informed them "I went up to set her fire and she wasn't there."

"Are you sure she wasn't in the bathroom, Daisy?" Mrs Hughes asked the kitchen maid.

"I didn't hear anything, though," Daisy said, defending her statement "Where do you think she's gone?"

"London," Branson said entering the kitchen "to stay with Lady Rosamund."

"Lord Grantham is looking for you," O Brien states just as the Irishman was about to sit down "He didn't look happy." Branson looked over at Mrs Hughes, worryingly.

"He's in the Library," She informs him. Branson made his way up the stairs and towards the Library slowly. Outside the doors, Carson was waiting. He opened the large grand door and Branson cautiously entered the room.

"You wished to see me, milord," Branson said, standing with his hands behind his back.

"Yes," Robert said walking towards the chauffeur "And now I ask, where is my daughter, Branson?"

"On the train to London, milord," Branson answered as Robert squared up to him "She requested yesterday that she be taken to Ripon during the night as she would unlikely be discovered."

"And why did she wish to travel to London?" Robert asked.

"She thought it best to leave the time being, milord," Branson said, before reading into his pocket and extracting a number of letters tied together with a piece of string. He handed them gently to the Earl "Lady Alice did also asked me to pass on these to you, milord."

"Thank you, Branson," Robert said sadly. If he were not told otherwise, he would have told Branson to leave Downton. He looked down at the number of letters in his hands. There must have been about ten in total. Going over and sitting at his desk, Robert undone the string and looked at them; _**Papa**, **Mama**, **Mary**, **Edith**, **Sybil**, **Matthew**, **Granny**, **Carson**, **Anna**, **Branson**, **Mrs Hughes**, **Mrs Patmore**_. He left the rest down on the table and tore open the one addressed to him;

**_Papa,_**

**_I am sorry that I am informing you of my future actions in this manner. As you may have already been told, everyone believes me to have traveled to London, ready to stay with Aunt Rosamund, which is partly true. I have written in my other letters telling them I wish to travel and see the world. Maybe go to America, India, maybe even Australia. But, they are false statements. This work of fiction is better than what I really am about to do, and it is what I wish them to believe, even if I never return to Downton. I shall only tell you the truth, and I trust that you shall remain quiet about my plans. _**

**_I shall travel to London, only to travel on-wards to Paris. I hear many soldiers on leave spend their time there. I plan to convince one to assist me in entering the army, by means of persuasion or by bribery. I'm sure many can't afford to return home once they're on leave. I must tell you, Papa, I know what I am letting myself in for. I have thought this through, I know the consequences if I were to be caught. I know that I may be charged as a spy and shot. By any chance that I do enter into the front of the war, I know I stand the chance of being killed. If so, I shall not write. I fear I may be caught if I do so._**

**_I am sorry that I have to part like this, but this is what I believe in, Papa. Just know that I Love you, and every other member of my family with all my heart, and I shall keep you in mind throughout the forthcoming days. I won't forget you._**

**_Your dearest daughter,_**

**_Alice. _**

The Lord's eyes were filled with tears as he read the letter silently to himself. His second youngest child off on her own in the world, running the chance of being killed. All he knows, his mind will never be at rest until he knows she's safe once more.

* * *

_I know, this is TERRIBLE. This is my first Downton Fic, so don't be too harsh. I do enjoy the show and this popped into my head as I watched the second series on my computer. I know it's bad, but don't be too harsh. If it is continuous bad through the next couple of chapters, please tell me though. Or otherwise if you think so._

_In the next few chapters, You will see the rest of the recipients opening their letters and their reaction to Alice's leaving, and Alice's stay in Paris. Will she or won't she make it to the front? or will she be caught? you'll just have to wait and see._

_I am also taking this from the story of Dorothy Lawrence, who actually did so and severed in the front for a number of days before handing herself in. Look her up._

_I hope you enjoy this - Holly :D_


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